This is a huge rant I sent to Jo. Some backstory: Few months back Jo bought a Kwikset 910 deadbolt (more like I asked her to buy – hindsight I should have done more and better research) and I was trying to setup the remote locking feature using Alexa/Google Assistant via SmartThings Hub. Here’s a copy-paste of the entire message. I’ll have a separate post on my home automation setup.

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:25]
well that was a completely wasted afternoon

Jo Shenoy, [29.12.17 16:25]
?

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:25]
first spend an hour trying to find the screw driver

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:25]
then find the screw driver

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:25]
unlock the deadbolt

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:25]
put the deadbolt in pairing mode.

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:26]
deadbolt doesn’t get detected by smartthings

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:26]
help says keep hub near 10-15 feet of deadbolt

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:26]
fine

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:26]
move the hub

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:26]
Hub’s battery powered, so no problem right

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:26]
wrong

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:26]
hub needs Internet

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:26]
and the hub is moved to the hall

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:26]
how do I get Internet to the hall

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:27]
rummage around

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:27]
find a _looooong_ Ethernet cable

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:27]
drag the cable to the wrong

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:27]
> still not detected

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:27]
google more

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:27]
one result says try excluding device first

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:27]
but what to exclude when it’s not included?!?

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:28]
ok, no harm in trying

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:28]
find out how to exclude

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:28]
surprise, surprise, exclusion mode is stuck deep in the app

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:28]
somehow find it

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:28]
press button on deadlock

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:28]
yay exclusion successful

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:28]
try pairing

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:28]
nervous moments

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:29]
yay pairing succeeded

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:29]
lock seen by smartthings app

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:29]
press the unlock button

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:29]
it works!

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:29]
hahahha

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:29]
door unlocked

Jo Shenoy, [29.12.17 16:29]
then?

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:29]
lets try automating

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:29]
> Alexa: lolyeahsure, not in India man

Jo Shenoy, [29.12.17 16:29]
[In reply to Sathya Bhat]
😂

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:29]
> google home: wut is this lock thing? I know only on and off lights

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:29]
ok

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:30]
lets try unlinking and relinking the smartthings app

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:30]
maybe it needs to be refreshed

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:30]
ok, unlinked and relinked

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:30]
> smartthings seen

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:31]
> googlehome: yeahlolrite you think that works? this aint windoz man

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:31]
_sigh_

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:31]
Idea 🌩

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:31]
lets try ifttt

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:31]
> launch ifttt

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:31]
connect smartthings

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:31]
connect google assistant

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:32]
put in ifttt: if you say “abracadabra” or “khul ja sim sim” or “open the door” tell smart things to unlock

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:32]
ok, done

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:32]
> say hey google from the hall

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:32]
> Google home from bedroom responds

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:32]
🤦

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:32]
try again with holding the homebutton on the phone

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:33]
google assistant responds on phone

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:33]
> say khul ja sim sim

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:33]
> google assistant: calling john simpson

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:33]
🤦‍

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:33]
try again

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:33]
> google assistant: calling john simpson

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:33]
fuck this shit

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
> hey google, abracadabra

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
holy fuck

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
it works

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
!!!!!

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
door unlocked

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
woohooo

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
try again

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
not a fluke

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
happy with results

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
put the cover on the deadbolt

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
move smartthings hub back to bedroom

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:34]
stash in lan cable etc

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:35]
> lay down, automation: PROJECT SUCCESSFUL

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:35]
Dr Murphy: yeah lolright

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:35]
> hey google, abracadabra

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:35]
….

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:35]
ifttt: yo bro, I sent the commandz but dunno brosky

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:36]
smartthings app: I dunno 🤷‍

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:36]
> smartthings app: door locked

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:36]
> me open lock:

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:36]
smartthings: nopes, you’re imagining shit. door still locked

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:36]
me: ok, since I disconnected the hub let me try to reconnect

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:37]
> find z-wave network repair deep in app

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:37]
> app: yo, yer deadbolt: seems to be lost, can’t find it

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:37]
ok, let me do the exclusion

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:37]
can’t exclude

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:37]
so yeah remember the 10-15ft thing

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:38]
eeyep smartthings hub needs to be close for the lock to work via app

Sathya Bhat, [29.12.17 16:38]
so yeah
2.5 hours down the drain