Found this post while randomly browsing through facebook groups. Was literally ROFLMAO as I read through this. Here goes
1. Sunday morning breakfast has to be sanna and sorpotel.
2. Konkani is never spoken, always sung.
3. At all family gatherings, (after a few drinks) the older men of the family will bring out their guitars and sing dirty songs and everyone will actually join in.
4. Every other Mangy is a far off relation.
5. Your parents say you have to marry only a Mangy because apparently, the other communities aren’t good enough.
6. Every trip to Mangalore includes gadbad from Pabba’s/ Ideals.
7. Your brother-in-law is called “Bhaoji”
8. You wear high-heels to a dance and then go bare foot on to the dance floor because it is more comfortable.
9. Every sentence must start with a “kaale gi” and end with a “oui gi”
10. You invite family to visit you overseas and give them long lists of things you need from India.
11. You have two-three middle names, which was either your grandmothers or grandfathers first name and most of which others can’t pronounce.
12. If you’re a girl and your 22, you will get at least 3 proposals from Mangy men much older than you.
13. You love sea-food.
14. You meet another Mangy and you both will know at least 10 people related to either of you. E.g. “She’s my mother’s aunt’s sister-in-law’s maidservant’s niece.”
15. You love going on and on about who your grandfather was and what he did.
16. You will ask your relatives traveling from Mangalore to bring you prawn/fish pickle.
17. You make sure they also bring you some Mangalorean sweets.
18. You pile yourself with gold at weddings and sneer at women wearing simple jewellery.
19. If your man, you’ve often gotten drunk at the weddings.
20. You know what a baila is and you love dancing to it.
21. If you’re not married before your 28, the community will start to wonder if there is something wrong with you.
22. In the 70’s, at least 60% of all the Mangi men went to the gulf and were known as Gulfy’s.
23. You’ve learnt the skill of bargaining from your mother and it’s something you’re proud of.
24. You have at least 30 first cousins and 70 second cousins.
25. Your family tree is so large, it’s a family orchard not a family tree.
26. Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both or you had to go for singing lessons.
27. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her relatives and doesn’t talk to them for ten years
28. Everyone is a family friend.
29. You’re walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all 25 members of your family who have come to pick you up.
30. Your entire family is constantly fighting over property they all inherited from somebody else.
31. You eat last night’s curry the next morning.
32. You love Ballal buses and have travelled in one.
33. You love Vas Bakery.
34. You never understand how the bus drivers actually get away with their rash driving on the streets.
35. The roads are so bad that you’re always complaining about pot holes.
36. Your friends call you a bewadi and you love the fact that they do so.
37. Your entire community knows everything about everyone and nothing is a secret.
38. You only look to date Mangalorean men so that they can turn in to potential husbands.
39. You are a man and you start losing hair and your belly grows when you’re just 35.
40. Your mother’s main aim in life is to please your father.
41. You love your bachelor party (Roce) and actually enjoy grandmothers crooing to songs you don’t understand while people drown you with coconut milk and you still have to smile and look pretty through it all.
42. You don’t know if your ancestors were Saraswat Bhramins or Portugese.
43. If you’ve lived in Mangalore, your curfew is 5:30p.m
44. Your parents either have one brother called Wilfy, an uncle called Peddy, a cousin called Vally Dattu, a distant aunt called Yellubai (nickname for Aunty Helen), a neighbor who is called Jillibai or Pimpy, and a dog called Tommy.
45. You always end your sentences with ‘No’. For eg: She met with an accident. So sad no?
46. You are annoyed when people think you’re Goan.
48. You can get onto any bus in Mangalore and you know that wherever the bus goes , you will always land up in Hampankatta.
49. Again, in the 70’s- 70% of the Mangy men joined the Merchant Navy and were referred to as ” Shippy’s”
50. To all who live outside the south –
you assert that you’re from “No, not Bangalore, but Mangalore. with an M.”
Sidenote: I have NO idea how many times I’ve repeated quote #50.
For more chuckles refer to my post on being a Mangalorean Konkana. Might also want to read up on my posts Mangalore Diaries Part I and Part II